Downtown Express gets slimed!

By Will McKinley

“South Street Seaport,” I said to the cabbie. “And step on it! I’m about to get slimed.”

Minutes later, I was in the middle of Nickelodeon’s “Slime Across America Tour,” a kiddie Woodstock with live music, costumed characters and lots of messy fun.

In last week’s Downtown Express, I confessed my lifelong dream to be drenched by Nickelodeon’s iconic green goo. A kind soul at the network granted my wish and now it was time for my moment in the slime.

A perky host named Gina led me to the stage of the Slimulator, where I battled four pre-teens in a tense game of Slime Potato. One contestant was eliminated with a slime bath, splattering me with liquid shrapnel. Then the music stopped, and the potato was in my hand.

“This is Will. He’s a reporter for Downtown Express,” Gina announced to the crowd, as she displayed a copy of my favorite newspaper.
“Grown-ups like to get slimed too!” I exclaimed, as a green geyser cascaded from a trap door above my head, dousing me with what felt like ice-cold NyQuil.

“Will, your dream has been fulfilled,” Gina said. “How do you feel?”

“I feel slimy!” I yelled, to the delight of hundreds of kids in the audience and the one still inside of me.